5 things...

You didn't know! Except you probably already know these things because I don't have many secrets.

1. I dated - past tense, phew - a certian someone with a tattoo that reads, "Trust No Bitch." It was tattooed in ink made out of a suspension of lotion ashes and god knows what else. Amy's taste in men? Questionable apparently.

2. I love grocery shopping! You find the randomest things on sale and you get creative and the possibilities open up before you...it's like creating a new painting!

3. I once spent the night sleeping in an outhouse because I was too scared to sleep on top of it, and I sure as hell wasn't lying out like a cat poop in a dog park with grizzles around.

4. The first time I saw a moose, it ambled out (ever so suddenly) from behind a nearby tree and I peed my pants. Unfortunately I had a UTI so I didn't just pee a little, I drenched my pants, the only pants for many miles, and had to break through ice to wash off in the river. In retrospect, I'm not sure what the point of washing off was - warm pee seems better than cold water when winter backpacking.

5. If I were a therapist, I would be like Cesar Millan and have one solution for every problem: Get a dog. I would not have survived highschool (socially at least) without those walks with Po and Pill, I attribute much of my headache healing to Iggy, and since I've had Joy I've been able to cut my prozac dose in half! Ponies are good too.

At work with my cat friend Chief - He has already been adopted!

And this is a fuzz ball that I was really fascinated by...

When we shave cat's bellies to look for spay scars, sometimes the fur comes off and forms a perfect little fuzz worm. They're hard to capture on camera, but quite striking in their natural habitat. It's pretty cool the way they stick together when you poke them.

FAIL date

But not EPIC. Phil and Scooter did not hit it off, but to his credit, she totally started it. They were doing well - he was letting her come sniff his litter box, and they were eying each other romantically. Then he hopped over to her litter box for a sniff, and she responded inhospitably with a mock lunge. He gave up on her immediately, testimony to the hurtful relationships of his past, and bit a big chunk of fur out of her forehead. Whenever I'm having romance troubles, I just thank God I'm not a little bunny.

We're now trying some intraspecies dating. I'm fostering Nudie, a guinea pig that needed some TLC and Vitamin C before he's ready to go up for adoption. He's mostly hairless and has giant sweaty balls (seriously, they're always strangely moist), but I'm hoping Phil will fall for his inner beauty... So far I don't think they've noticed each other. Joy thinks he's facinating though, especially when he wheeks.

Joy is eating stick bits, helping me with the room cleanup that is so desperately needed. Rosie punched a good little hole in her lip (trying to help her with her punk image no doubt), but Joy opted not to put in a sexy lip stud and has healed up unbelievably fast. She hasn't been as combative with the puppy since she got home, so I'm hoping getting thrashed by much larger and more snaggle-fanged Rosie and Lily cooled her hot head a little.

Four Paws and Very Pesky

I found out what would happen if Joy got inadequate exercise. Between me being a sickie and the weather being below zero all weekend, Joy's only been only getting out for short potty breaks, with the exception of one very nice walk with her granddad. She's neatly proving Cesar's Exercise, Discipline, Affection mantra true by being an obnoxious pillbox despite unlimited cuddling and belly rubs. Actually, she's being really wonderful, I'm just comparing her to normal, nearly perfect Joy. As bored as she must be, she hasn't destroyed anything or eaten any household pets, she just won't stop poking me and every time I wake up she's right there, breathing heavily on my face and staring with tragically hopeful eyes.

My feet have suffered a barrage of insults throughout the years, among them "homeless" and "masculine." In a valiant effort to prove these cruel and superficial hoobie-skanks wrong, I've painted my toenails "Teak Rose." It's irresistibly sexy.

Not so irresistably sexy that the BF noticed, but then again he is a boy and also didn't notice when I cut 6in off my hair (also incredibly sexy).

the apartment is a mess right now. it's disgusting. only one man can solve this problem, and that man is tim mcgraw. yeah, i'm getting in the mode, just a little more coffee and I'm gonna have this place lookin like new. I'd like to do my laundry as well, but Joy is much to comfortable on top of the pile to be disturbed.

i officially adopted Joy on Thursday. i had been thinking she was from a Northern CO shelter, but she was actually from the other transfer that day - KY! Her Kentucky name was Sherry. Per the KY shelter folks, her best qualities are: Loving and Playful. I would have to agree, though I'd add: Crazy Smart, Athletic, and Well-Mannered to the list.

The birds are doing great. Don't know if they did the math and figured out that they're siblings, but whatever the motivation they've elected to hold off on making eggs. They still like putting nests together, but then they just sit in them, seemingly quite content with selfless genes. They've now each had a narrow brush with murder. Hope fled the room at one point while I was changing her water. She immediately became disoriented and landed on the carpet to get her bearings. The cat was apparently not in a sporting mood, and took advantage of this disadvantaged prey. Hope somewhat got the idea that she was being hunted after she was pounced on a time or two, and made some effort to fly around but kept choosing vulnerable spots to land in, chiefly the floor. By the time I caught the cat, Hope was in her mouth. I shook the cat and Hope emerged miraculously unharmed. Darrel repeated the performance with Joy, but I caught him in a pillow case before he got chomped. Looking at their survival skills, you'd think they'd been raised in captivity or something. If nothing else, they have provided some pretty fantastic stimulation for the predators in the house.

Although this technically makes me a bad person, I may have found a new home for Phil! One of the investigators at the League is looking for an older male rabbit to keep her female company, so we're gonna try a date (This is why I say maybe. We all know how phil does on dates.).

I'm justifying betraying my promises to Phil by focusing on how much happier he would be with a lady friend. I'm also assuaging the guilt by remembering my dear horsie Drummer, who - I swear to God - had completely forgotten me after three months apart. Ouch. On the other hand, there's nothing like a good kick in your anthropomorphising pants to get you back down there in reality. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to euthanize animals right now if Drummer had been as touched by our nightly ritual of ear snuffles as I had been. The jury's still out on whether or not that's a good thing.

Works gotten a lot better since I stopped trying so hard. I've started frolicking, slacking, and generally taking my sweet freakin time. So far I've been getting all good feedback. Yeah my efficiency has dropped like a rock, but I do have some fantastic attention to detail. Amazingly, you hardly make any "mistakes" if you triple check anything that's not blatently obvious. Technically I'm getting paid to make decisions, but it's become apparent that certian authority figures want to be the only ones making decisions. Now that I'm no longer putting pressure on myself, I have all this time for things like photography...

We named him Yeti. My coworker and I put this kitten in different poses for about half an hour. It was pretty hilarious, and I think Yeti benefited from the socialization and the dance practice (he does a pretty good jig).