Bunny farts smell like cucumbers

In case any hot dudes are reading this, here's is an excellent summary of my marriageable skills. A preview of the potential amazingness:

A. I am so good at nagging! So good. I'm kinda like a personal nagging assistant. (Areas of expertise: have you eaten your protein today? did you call your mother? did you put away your dishes?)

B. I'm nearly totally socially uninhibited! Give me a couple of beers and every personal detail will become public knowledge! In fact, sometimes this doesn't require beers. The benefit? Everyone will know how awesome you are in bed (or that your ears are smelly, and you talk about waffles in your sleep...)

C. I give fantastic lectures on important life issues like dog food, prostate health, and pus content in American milk. If you spend enough time with me, you can hear these lectures over and over as I inform everyone I meet, and you can revel in the subtle variations.

D. I do great rants, especially when caffeinated. Here's a sample: I hate how some profs get shamelessly nonobjective when grading papers. arbitrary! illogical! harumph! They tell you that attendance will not effect your grade, and so you're like, "well super, now I can skip these horribly organized, waste-of time lectures, and sleep in an extra two hours." But then, oh the reckoning! They give you a crappy grade on a fantabulous paper! Sometimes college makes me want to vomit. Damnit, I only like to suck up to nice people. Argh!