I just got an email from a wonderful older gentleman who took my class letting me know he picked up his meat share. Of all the wonderful and interesting people in the classes, Rick's the one person I connected with most, and was incredibly kind, helpful, and light-hearted. In the email he told me I'm a "class act," and so were my classes. Earning the respect of someone like Rick makes me feel that - at least in this one way and at this one moment - I arrived at where I've wanted to be as a person.

So often I feel like a million people could do my job better than I am. Some days it seems that if I just worked harder, organized better, or didn't waste so much time on stupid mistakes, I could get this place looking great, making ends meet, and walking the permaculture talk. But I'm inexperienced and not a natural leader, and I seem to have no idea where to even begin. I make bad decisions hourly and get the big picture mixed up with simple details.

Admittedly, because of all those mistakes I'm learning lessons that will probably come in handy someday. Like: don't park your trailer in a muddy field over night, don't underestimate livestocks' determination to eat expensive trees, and - the one lesson that's really determined to stick - check your f#*@ing tires before you go anywhere hauling anything! These things might save my ass someday. Then again, if there was some experienced farmer/rancher around to say, "hey, young lady, check those f#*@ing tires, park that trailer on the road, and chicken wire doesn't do shit up against a steer," maybe I could learn those lessons AND skip ahead a few (hundred) grades on all the other things I need to know out here instead of slogging along in the dark.

I frequently day dream about a career where I'm able to do an excellent job every day by simply working hard, thinking clearly, and caring deeply. I've been secretly wondering if vet school is feasible because it sounds so nice to show up at work and actually know how to do what you need to do. There's only one right way to spay a cat. (This is ridiculous. I realize that being a vet involves plenty of scary responsibility and murky decisions, but grass is always greener...) I'm in a maze where the questions aren't distinguishable from the answers, and the moment I come upon definitive reasons to make one choice, I find I should be asking a completely different question. I miss the feeling of really clear and indisputable success. Of accomplishing definitive goals.

Christmas break will involve planning and prioritizing, and maybe even setting some grand yet reasonable goals. This work is stressful, but it's challenging, exciting, liberating, and is preparing me for something good, maybe better. Maybe I'll leave here able to better balance creativity and idealism with a tight schedule and budget. Maybe I'll be a class act a little more often.

Ruby Mae!

Our beautiful new duroc gilt is all settled in and doing wonderfully! I was trying to get a nice profile of her to show off her amazing muscling and solid bone structure, but she was sure I had food and wouldn't stop chasing me! She tried nibbling my boot and tugging on my pants, but I was dispointingly inedible. Yesterday was the first time she didn't run off when I scratched her back. It was an exciting moment :) She had a good childhood compared to most pigs, but her 2 acre pasture with shade and mud and lots of human attention is a huge upgrade from the little, crowded dirt pens at Jones Farm. She's still getting used to all the ammenities, but I've seen her doing a good bit of grazing and even some romping on sunny afternoons! Now that I've been visiting a lot more than usual to heat check them, the large black gals have gotten pretty excited about their regular back scratches, and Sammie's started squealing and leaning into me as soon as I touch her! They're such delightful creatures! Pepe will be coming down this next week from his nearby home in Javier the chef's yard. Javier's gilt is Peggy's sister Ramona, and will probably be pretty excited to have her food bowl to herself for a few weeks. Hopefully we'll have two litters of LBH piglets in four months, and a litter of duroc crosses once Ruby Mae gets a little older! That with four litters of goat kids will make for an exciting spring! I'm also hoping my turkeys start laying and hopefully brooding/hatching/rearing soon, and we'll be getting a new batch of laying hen chicks in January. I never did hear how that Aspen lady liked her 8lb, very scrawny looking turkey, but maybe that's for the best lol

It's been lovely here (weird!) but we are expecting snow tonight. Phew, global warming was getting a little too up close and personal for a moment there. In anticipation of the snow, and also b/c I was just on a roll, I picked up all the absent farm animals today and brought them home! Got our two bred alpine does from Olathe, and I was pleasantly surprised when they acutally seemed excited to see me. Delilah and Pom are such sweethearts and are convincing me that goats are fun and easy and way more delightful than cattle. Too bad milk's so much harder to sell than beef. Of course the profit margin might be better, hmmm. Anyway, their baby daddy is a very handsome gentleman named Danny, who has a rich dark brown coat and should make really gorgeous babies. I guess they were both very good sports and came into heat right on schedule. Right on schedule AND 2 days apart which should make kidding season just that much easier! Such good girls. As I do not have a stock trailer, and decided after my adventure two weeks ago that stuffing two goats in the back seat of a small pickup is unplesant, I made a goat box in the back of the F 250 out of pallets and plywood and tarps and screws and bungies. It's pretty ugly, but very sturdy, and the ladies seemed to find it much more comfortable that the tiny Dodge Durango. I also enjoyed not having to dodge bickering goats while driving or smell them peeing all over the upholstery.

I'm also so excited to report that I picked up a new piggie on the way home! She's such a beauty - built like a weight lifter, but just gorgeous in a hog way! She's a Duroc, which is a good pasture breed like the Large Black, but she (and her babies) will grow a little quicker and produce a leaner meat - in other words, more appealing to modern Americans. She's red, and we're working on a good name for her. Her adopted sisters are named PeggySue and SammieJoe, so a double name might be cool, but I'm also liking Ruby. Maybe RubyMae? Ross suggested MaryJane, which I love, but then we all realized that on a farm run by a bunch of young hippies, everyone would assume we were honoring the drug and not the red-headed girlfriend of Peter Parker.

I also picked up our fat little pigmy goat from her (month long) date today. She's so hilarious! When she doesn't want to go somewhere (she's very willful, so that's everywhere that wasn't her idea to go to), she just drops her heft low over her haunches and digs in her little hooves, aka "pegs." It's completely incredible how much traction that critter can get. She can't weight over 100lbs, yet... Cait and I ended up picking her up and carrying her from her boyfriend's pen all the way up the hill to the truck, lifting her into the truck, pushing her into the pen in the truck, lifting her out of the truck, and carrying her all the way to her stall at the ranch! She didn't move a single inch on her own four feet the whole trip. I had the front, and Cait had the back; I kept getting horns in my face, and Cait kept getting farted on b/c we were squeezing her belly - lol! For all her struggling on the ground, Rosie goes pretty limp and seems to genuinely enjoy being carried. I could see her making a mental commitment to never walk anywhere again when there were humans available to chauffeur her bulk around! That is one strange goat, but her kids are going to be freaking adorable! We bred her to a nigerian dwarf buck who's pretty goofy looking :)

Pumpkin Quinoa Cookie recipe that i think would be good w/out stevia

Adapted off of glutenfreegoddess:

1 c quinoa flakes
1 c sorgum flour
1/2 c millet flour
1 T tapioca/potato starch
1 t xanthan gum
1 c sweetener
1 t cinnamon
1/2 t nutmeg
1/4 t ground cloves

1/2 c coconut oil
1 c canned pumpkin
1 T vanilla
1 T maple syrup
1/2 t lemon juice

Evolving GF bread recipe

This is adapted from glutenfreegoddess with six or seven changes/additions. It's pretty dang good!

Whisk together dry ingredients:
2/3 cup sorghum flour
1/3 cup cornmeal
1/2 cup millet flour
1/3 cup corn starch
2/3 cup tapioca starch/flour
1/3 cup ground flax seeds
1/3 cup sunflower seeds
2/3 cup quick oats
2 teaspoons xanthan gum
1 1/2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp kelp granules
2 tsp rosemary

Proof yeast-
1 1/4 cup warm liquid
1 packet yeast
1 tsp maple syrup

Add to wet ingredients:
2 eggs
3 Tbs coconut oil
1 tsp lemon juice

The more I learn, the harder this candida diet gets!

Just read on the comments of a blog: "Sugar free does not mean candida safe; sorbitol, maltitol, etc still feed the candida. Xylitol, however, does not but is extremely expensive. Aspartame and other full synthetic sweeteners are also “candida safe” but should be avoided for other reasons."* There goes my sugar-free syrup (sorbitol) and candy (maltitol)! I suppose it's really good news, because it might explain why I'm still so freaking sensitive to relapses; here I've been feeding my candida unknowingly all this time! *I had to change 7 punctuation marks in the above quote to make it sharable! I wonder if grammar sensitivity is genetic or just a learned behavior? Thank goodness I just have a mild case :)

According to the foods list I got from the specialist I saw yesterday, my sweetener options are: stevia, chicolin chicory extract, vegetable glycerine, and yacon syrup. I couldn't find any of those things at Vitamin Cottage other than stevia, which tastes pretty gross to me. Internet research is telling me that the Herbal Advantage brand has a less-gross version, but I'm guessing that also means a crazy expensive version. I'm also learning that most candida patients do the strict candida diet for only a couple weeks or months and not their entire lives, which makes me a little hopeful and also makes me wonder if that's why there aren't better sugar alternatives out there. I could do fine with nothing sweet for a few weeks or months, but for years? I was raised on way too many delicious baked goods to not feel deeply desperate every time my roommate makes muffins! The search continues, and will surely result in some neat nutritional discoveries!

Right now I'm drinking my hot garlic/ginger/cheyenne water and learned about 2 ingredients which make it even more candidacidal (which definitely should be a real word if it isn't one). I switched out the Tbs of olive oil for coconut oil and added vital mineral blend sea salt instead of kosher salt - double yum! I also started adding delicious kelp granuels to food for more minerals as the candida causes some degree of leaky gut, making mineral deficiencies a common problem with yeasty people. Yeast makes me very grumpy, and the hormonal changes around menstruation increases yeast populations, so I have to wonder if much of PMS for many people is simply those yeast toxins screwing with their neurotransmitters. I just put a book called, "The Second Brain" on my reading list. It explains how the enteric nervous system affects our mood and state of mind. Here's an article from Scientific American on it: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=gut-second-brain. One really intersting fact which stood out: 95% of the body's seratonin is found in the large intestine!

Which reminds me, I told my mom I would send her my favorite Ted Talk, so here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-iGZPtWXzE. It's the same guy who wrote Born to Run, and it is delightfully entertaining and inspiring! Every time I watch it I get such a kick out of, "Usain Bolt can get his ass kicked by a squirrel," "One thing is remarkable about all women sprinters: they all suck." I now think of my ancestors chasing down antelope when ever a run gets hard. Mom, maybe you should imagine chasing down arboricidal* elk for extra inspriation! *I'm really introducing some gems to the English language today.

Spanish and Protein cookies

More latina locals came today to buy live chickens today! It's such an easy way to sell chickens! Some of them are really sweet, and some of them so obviously think I'm an idiot which is a bit frustrating. I realize that my Spanish sucks, but some Spanish speakers seem far more offended that I'm not fluent than appreciative that I'm trying really hard. I did learn how to tie their feet together better today. I had just been double knotting twine around their ankles, but those sneaky gallinas are really good at wiggling out while your back is turned. These experienced ladies have a technique of tying in between the feet that somehow holds it better.

We started Spanish classes this Monday, which should help with my chicken selling issues. Ex-educator Alli is teaching and is rocking it! She planned a fantastic lesson that was super basic but somehow still really interesting and helpful at my rusty intermediate level. I also got a few children's books in Spanish at the library yesterday. I was considering some teen fiction (crepusculo maybe?), but decided that was way too ambitious and picked a few picture books instead. Right now I'm working my way through "Cuidado con las Mujeres Astutas!," Watch out for Clever Women!, which has full page pictures every other page. With that hilarious title I was surprised to see it was published in 1994, long after the feminist movement taught most people not to openly declare that intelligent women are dangerous.

The first story was about an impovrished viejita who saves all her pennies to buy a special ham. She then welcomes some lost travelers into her home and cooks them dinner (with ham!) from her meager supplies. After dinner, the rascals plot to steal the ham and hide it in their traveling bag thinking she somehow won't notice. But she is clever, and steals it back before the morning, replacing it with a big brick. The scoundrels then hike into the wilderness carrying a brick, and go hungry for days. So there! I'm pretty excited to see what the next chapter has in store :)

I also found a pretty good cookie recipe from dietdessertndogs.com! Considering the ingredients, it's more of a delicious chocolate protein bar recipe:

1+ Tbs olive oil

3 Tbs water

1 tsp vanilla

1/4 c xylitol

1/4 c stevia

1 c almonds

1/4 c hemp prot powder

2+ Tbs cocoa powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 c GF flour

My brain is really tired at the moment from balancing so many farm thoughts all day, so this may not be very well composed! I managed to be really productive but am always surprised at how many things there are to figure out and how complicated every step often turns out to be! It's amazing to think about how entirely different my job is from what most people consider farming. Or maybe most people are still under the mistaken impression that conventional farmers aren't tractor/combine jockies?

Had an awesome cross fit workout tonight! I've been going for almost two months now (other than that two week sinus infection break) and am definitely getting a little better! I'm still amazed by all the women there who are whipping out over a hundred unassisted pullups and push ups in a work out though! I'm using a stretchy band to help with the pullups and am doing the pushups on my knees just so I can complete the workouts. It's somehow amazingly fun and is a great combo of lifting and cardio. Can't recommend it highly enough!

Today we did the "Cindy" workout. There are 20 or so benchmark workouts with women's names that everyone who does crossfit does! The Cindy is 5 pullups, 10 pushups, and 15 squats in a row as many times as you can in 20 minutes. I only got to thirteen even with my stretchy band, but did a little better than last time. The push ups were really killing me, and after the first seven or so sets I was having to take a pretty good break between the first and second 5! The coach cranks up the music and gives you form tips and encouragement. It's just a little bit competitive, but you can't really tell what set everyone else is on after the first few, so there's not too much pressure to go a crazy pace.

Aaaand randomly, here a Mouse Hamlet, a recent present from Cecil:

Lard!

I rendered my first leaf lard last night which was exceptionally satisfying, although I'm not quite sure why! I didn't get it quite right. Although it's almost "snow white" as is desirable, it is not totally odorless, and thus will not be used in all those super fancy pastries I make, alas. I made it specifically for tamales though, so I think it will serve it's purpose admirably. I'd better get cracking on tamales...2.5 quarts of lard worth! Of course, each batch of eight tamales uses 2/3 cup, so all that lard isn't so daunting. That 1/2 quart jar remained separated with the yellow liquid at the bottom even after it set up and the top 3/4 turned white. I have no idea what that means, and will have to consult a lard expert!

Googling "rendering lard recipe" brought me to this very cool website http://www.spain-in-iowa.com/ which I highly recommend! There's lots to explore on it about things like the nutritional science behind sprouting grains and other homesteading-themed stuff. Rendering lard could not have been easier, and I highly recommend trying it! Here's what I did:

- Pour 1/4 inch of water in crock pot (to keep the lard on the bottom from burning before the rest melts), set on low (but not "warm")
- Add defrosted lump of ground leaf lard, chop into smaller and smaller chunks as it warms to help with even melting. I guess you need to chop the lard if it's not ground, which my next batch isn't so I'll try out.
- Keep the lid off so the water cooks off, and wait two hours, stirring and de-clumping occasionally
- Pour into colander lined with cheese cloth and sift out chunks (aka crackle)
- Pour beautiful golden liquid into jars
- Do NOT eat the crackle! Ignore directions which tell you it's delicious and tastes like bacon bits. It tastes like pig ear wax, and will make you gag unless you have four legs and a long, furry tail (maybe I cooked it incorrectly? maybe my palete is too americanized?)

On a side note - leaf lard (aka "kidney lard") is the more desirable type of lard which comes from in amongst the internal organs rather than beneath the skin (aka "fatback"). Wish the fat in the below picture was easier to see! It is beautiful, glistening pure white when it is pulled off the carcass (the back fat is more opaque and yellowish). There's a third kind of lard called the "caul fat" which is a lacy membrane that surrounds the GI tract and is really gorgeous! Apparently it's not good for rendering, but can be used to wrap meat or (I just read) as a "covering for pate." Not sure why you'd want your pate covered in a lacy layer of fat, but I've also never had pate so I'm clearly out of the loop. I have a few bags in the freezer, but i'm not planning on any wrapped meats or covered pates, so maybe I'll just drape cecil's evening meal in fancy fat now and then. It's all about the presentation with these dignified felines afterall.

Evolving pancake recipe

The ladies behind glutenfreegoddess@blogspot.com and http://www.dietdessertndogs.com/ have inspired me by making my gluten + sugar free living so much more tasty! So I thought I'd start sharing the recipies I've adapted on chance someone else can't eat cows' dairy, wheat, or sweeteners, but is NOT vegan! Since there probably are six other humans following my diet out there, and they definitely aren't the humans reading my blog, this is really a recipe index for myself (lots of room for notes and changes)!

Right now I'm working on a PANCAKE recipe off dietdessertndogs, but it was pretty dang bland, so I've been adding to each batch. Here's what I've come up with, though it still needs something...

1/2 c almonds
1/4 c flax seed meal
1 c unsweetened almond/coconut milk
1.5 Tbs xylitol
1 Tbs lemon juice
1 tsp lemon zest
1 small egg
Small dash almond extract
1 tbs vanilla extract
1.5 tsp olive oil

Gind almonds, combine above ingredients. Combine below dry ingredients, then add:
1/3 cup GF flour mix
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt

Cook on lower heat than normal pancakes. Usually I'm a tick above medium, but I ended up giong a tick under because they were browning too fast.

I love that this recipe is really high protein and fiber. Unfortunately, you can taste that it's missing fat and sugar and delicious processed grains. Next time I'm going to try butter rather than olive oil, and more of it! Cows' milk butter doesn't bother me, because (i think) the casein proteins and lactose are in the whey not cream when they're separated? Whatever the reason, thank god! I'm excited to try glutenfreegoddess's pancake recipe but it requires a bunch of flours that I don't have. Having 8-10 different kinds of flours on hand is just a pain in the ass!! I cooked the final pancake in lard rather than oil (first batch, bla), or butter (second batch, better), and it added a nice savory richness to it, but certianly did not cure it of it's blandness. Maybe next week I should attempt a combination mom's awesome buttery pancake recipe with this one and try to make a more nutritious and less glutenous version of mom's without abandoning the deliciousness!

Here's a cute picture of LJ, who supplied the one and only locally raised ingredient in my breakfast. Oh wait there was an egg. Anyway, she was such a cutie! Which makes me think how excited I am to try raising some grains (not wheat! buckwheat, quinoa, amaranth, rice in the wetlands?) next season and how much I want one of Dad's fancy zero carbon greenhouses so I can raise some nut trees!

(Fair warning: this whole post may be fragments and run-ons; my syntax supply tank is empty) I stayed up late last night....... finishing up my grad school paper!! which turned out to be such a delightfully exciting accomplishment that I then couldn't fall asleep till even later despite looming morning chores. with the end result of hickory smoked almonds in my oatmeal instead of walnuts. But hopefully I didn't forget anybody's breakfast on chores. only eight hours till the weekend! I had been thinking I was down to the last three or four hours on the damn thing, but found out yesterday I had more like ten. How did I get to the ripe age of 25 and still not learn to finish my paper before the day it's due? oh well, done done done! now i can focus on studying for my permaculture teacher training!! Yipeee. Happy Friday :)


In other news... the turkeys have started roosting on our porch which is pretty dang cute (though how they can sleep balanced that far off the ground...). Also, it's been so hot that Cecil has been showing off some really awesome sleeping positions, including this one (with all four feet twitching in a dream):
And a couple hours later, this one (which I thought was a pretty good dead possum impression!):

A few quick critter updates!

Burdock is growing up to be completely gorgeous! I think dad must've been a red angus b/c I was expecting a black calf, but instead he's sporting this this handsome deep rust!

The pigs really need to be moved to a larger area of pasture, but in the mean time we've been giving them some weeds from the garden and thinned turnips which they're loving. I love this angle of Laura Jean. Not very flattering I suppose! What silly looking creatures :) We grilled up a smoked ham steak from her previous litter, and OMG I think I shall always keep a pig or two around. Ham is just amazing.

My wonderful little turkeys had their first day of freedom this weekend as I opened up their chicken tractor and let them go exploring! They stay in the tightest little flock, keeping up a constant commentary of peeping as they encounter exciting new things like chickens and the peacock and lots and lots of tasty things to peck at.

I also thought I'd add this pic of Eve the peacock trying to seduce some of the laying hens with his impressive display. He's so fun to watch and seems to be everywhere you look! He's always peeking in a window, sitting on a gable, or strutting in unexpected places. I think I may always keep a peacock around just for shits and giggles.

Cecil McLovin

I figured I'd better dedicate a post to my one and only pet since he's uncontrollably cute! Admittedly I've recently come in second for his attention, but I'm pretty delighted he's so damn happy and busy with interesting activities that he doesn't have time for me! He did come in last night (after a five days of independence!) for some snuggling and raw meat - probably not in that order though :)

Cecil cat's not sure about his first rocky mtn oyster (complements of Burdock the calf). Well, I did forget to batter and deep fry it!

(rant warning)

While I realize I'm not seeing a representative slice of the pop'n up here near Aspen, the state of America's children is none-the-less giving me some serious qualms about our future as a species. I can't tell you how many children are terrified of mud and manure. Since when do kids care about getting their shoes dirty?? On Saturday I was helping a 4 year old girl wash her hands and told her we were trying to save the trees by not using paper towels, and she started cry-screaming because her hands were intolerably wet. WTF? Luckily she wasn't tall enough to reach the paper towels herself, though she did take some leaps at it (not headed for the NBA, this one). She eventually recovered when her tiny little brain was distracted by the shrieking of her horrid compatriots as they detected incoming cake. Turns out I really can't stand entitled Aspen children, especially if they come for their farm-themed birthday party in sparkley sandels and frilly frocks.


On top of this rampant germaphobia, most of our young visitors also seem to suffer from a complete inability to work. I kid you not, it took three 12 year olds ten minutes to move one bale of straw (not hay, this is less than 50lbs) into the goat pen, and the whining was epic. When (I would say "if," but I'm pretty commited to the peak oil theory) the economy changes and cushy jobs are few and far between, our society may very well be fracked. Where are the kids who want to fall in creeks, would give their right leg for the chance to pet a cute animal, and can happily muck some shit-filled stalls?

Growing Season!

Everybody out at Rock Bottom seems to be growing at a breakneck pace! These chickens were insubstantial fluff balls just eight weeks ago, and now they're almost six pounds! We have three batches of chickens going at the moment, and luckily we've had a little practice by this point because there's great potential for chaos. We accidentally spaced the batches a little too tightly on this last group, and the new chicks were ordered to come in the same day the three week old group was headed out to pasture. Unfortunately that Friday was the one rainy and cold day in weeks, and we ended up losing 40 of our freedom ranger chicks to cold. Well, we technically lost them to smothering from the overzealous "huddle for warmth" efforts of of their siblings. Alas! We seem to have a 40/batch trend going here. My favorite old man rancher friend suggested I make a head stone for the chicks reading: "40 Freedom Chicks. Ranching Lesson #106." He's great at putting things in perspective for us, being exceptionally encouraging, and treating us like compentent buisness partners despite some evidence to the contrary :) Too bad none of his good looking sons are single!

In addition to the chickens, the piglets are growing like mad, and I'm hoping all my fence repair will mean larger, greener pastures for them as soon as they're weaned. Burdock the calf is also growing (no longer heft-over-the-fence-able), and is as handsome as can be! We vaccinated him in my home-made livestock chute, and he was the only victim who didn't even flinch. His two older siblings put up such a dramatic fight one nearly gave Caitlin a concussion while she was closing the butt gate! Such spoiled critters.

The laying hen chicks are almost chickens now, though still significantly smaller than their meaty counterparts. As the peacock was recently widowed (some predator was delighted the peahen decided not to roost safely in the hen house that night), he's started making moves on the laying hen chicks. Unfortuntely they don't even bat an eye at his impressive strutting - which I have yet to capture on camera. To most everyone's surprise, "Eve" the peacock has become a well-loved member of the menagerie and visits every corner of the ranch to deliver his eerie calls and class up the place with his good looks. My (mostly-suppressed) animal hoarding tendancies may have been partially responsible for his (unwelcome) arrival at the ranch as I OKed the avian donation. Luckily, instead of becoming yet another unproductive burden for the staff, Eve requires no care and bequeaths us with a great deal of entertainment. Yay!

One of the rabbits gave birth, but I couldn't see them way back in their nest box so I'll just have to take Peter's word for it. So excited for them to become furry, ambulatory, and adorable! We'll have to fix up one of the chicken "tractors" for them soon, and I need to get the third one all ready for my turkeys who are slowly but steadily getting pretty big! A little boy told me the other day that one of the six week old turkeys was the momma bird for it's much smaller siblings, which made me think of how far they have to go before they're actually mom-turkey size. They currently couldn't look much less like their adult counter part, King Louie.

Caitlin and I are finally making some changes to the goat herd which before last week had one productive member out of eight. Charlotte (Delilah's bitchy daughter) is headed for the rainbow bridge (and stewpot) this week, and the two pigmies will hopefully find a new home on craigslist. Deb has some dedicated fans (my sister included), so we're giving her yet another chance at breeding which goes against most everything I learned in grad school about herd management. Grandma Corona is also well loved, so she will be kept as a pet, fed and doctored through her geriatric years. Charlotte, Gray, and Rosie have been replaced with mother-daughter milking team Pomegranate and Persimmon who are far more cuddly (and polite) than anyone else in the herd. They also enjoy my singing (Firework was a big hit on the milking stand this week).

Adorable Poults!

Here are my new turkeys, my first personal animal project here at the ranch! Not only is there a fantastic market for turkeys, but they are supposed to be exceptionally personable and much smarter than chickens (not saying much!). Since I get to keep some of the females to start a small breeding flock, I get to name them and get attached - Yay! In this pic you can see the six bourbon red poults, and the one (darker) bourbon red/royal palm cross. They are so cute, but very skittish for now. My mom claims that they are rather ugly, but she clearly doesn't have good taste in baby poultry! One of the smallest of the burbon reds was mysteriously dead several mornings ago, but all the rest are doing great! In fact, one of the youngest ones is so full of energy and mischief that I've had to chase her around the farm twice. She snuck out a crack in the wall into the goat stall and made her escape, ending up in the hay barn the first adventure and over by the hen house the second. Not sure where she was headed or what she was searching for (maybe mom?), but she appeared to be strolling around and peeping rather aimlessly. She led me on quite a chase, showing off her swimming skills and getting me muddy half way up the thighs.

Here are the two new-borns (new-hatches?). In this pic they're two days old. I've named them Clarice and Fava, though I can't tell them apart yet! I like how the one up front is looking over her shoulder all pin-up style :) They're much more gawky than the chicks and less heart-meltingly cute, but have a great deal of character. They were so exhausted when I pulled them out of their box after their ride from Grand Junction but not sure about their surroundings and actually fell asleep standing up! Neither seemed overly steady to begin with, but pretty soon their heads started drooping until their beaks were resting on the straw. Their little butts were up in the air, swaying and twitching while they fought with their heavy eyelids. Ridiculous looking! Finally, one after the other they lost the battle and their knees gave way, plunking them onto their bellies for a good sleep.

It was a great weekend showing my new home off to my parents and getting a lot of wonderful food out of the bargain! I thought I had eaten enough in those two brunches and two dinners to last me the week, but I was so hungry today I had two lunches! I'm cooking up spagetti squash from last year's garden and an old laying hen who was no longer laying eggs and pecking holes in everyone else's - what a nasty old bird! Eight hours in the crock pot made her pretty fantastic though! Much more flavorful than the cornish crosses. I've got two more old hens in the "prison" cage in the hen house for suspected egg eating. They haven't laid any eggs in the three days they've been in there, so that's also cause for culling them I suppose. I'll have to get out my broom and scalding pot tomorrow!

I just looked over because I heard Cecil smacking his lips, apparently in the middle of a very vivid dream. He's all curled up in a ball with his eyes rolling around and his face twitching like crazy! Must be tired from wrestling that big vole he brought me this morning! You'd think I'd be saturated with animal care out here, but I still desperately miss sharing life with a dog, especially this dog. Her death seemed so irrationally early and pointless, but if she was still here I wouldn't be at Rock Bottom and would perhaps be headed in a very different direction. If there's a plan behind all this stuff, I hope there's also a chance she'll be back to share in another chapter of my life.

Oh, I almost forgot! I also had an adventure this evening with this little munchkin! He somehow got suck on the wrong side of the fence, and since it's 4' high post and board he was having a heck of a time getting back in to mom. I popped over thinking maybe I could help him out, but he was super wary of me and wasn't letting me get too close. I slowly crept up to him over the course of twenty minutes or so, and he finally let me touch him and, without even flinching, let me get my arms under him. My initial heave to get him over the fence was highly unsuccessful. Got him eye level with the top rail, but didn't have the umph to get him actually over it. He weighed a heck of a lot more than I expected! Must be over a hundred, which is great, unless of course you're me and aren't quite of a rancher physique yet. I tried to squeeze him through the middle, but his chest wouldn't fit. Oddly, he just went kind of limp and let me try to manuver him through. Not sure why he went from fleeing from me to letting me heft him around. So back over the top, but I got a knee up this time so was able to prop him while I inched up the fence myself. Once his front feet and nose were over he got the idea and started helping a bit so it was easy from there. He aced the landing too! I think we're friends now :) But who knows! Any name suggestions? "The calf" just doesn't suit him

So far this week has been delightfully productive and full of exciting experiential learning :)

The hoop house is actually getting vertical, which is admittedly a total surprise. We have bypassed things like leveling and uh, well, measuring for the most part. It's just a fifteen foot high 24'x48' structure, so I'm pretty sure planning and measuring would be overkill, right Dad? We don't have a transit or a skid steer or (until today) a tape measure longer than 25', but we do have a very wealthy board member with zero building experience on site daily and demanding progress. In fact, when he gets frustrated with all our measuring and planning, he just starts digging holes (abiet slowly and crookedly from behind that financier spare tire). So we have the ground posts in, and although they're not plumb or lined up, today they stuck two of the ridgelines up. They weren't bolted on straight, so one of them shoved out the ground post to a frightening angle. Frightening mostly because the ground posts are so easily pushed around! They were supposed to be set in concrete, but instead it was decided that we would dig a 2' hole (the top foot of which is freshly added compost and sand) with a post hole digger, plop the ground posts in, and pack a little dirt/compost in around the edges. Oh my god. As much as I like to bitch about Agriburbia, I was completely convinced our hoop houses weren't going to flop over, or look like hell for that matter. So, I guess the hoop house part wasn't delightfully productive, but on the other hand, it is nice to have the damn thing out of the box finally.

This week I've also learned how to set curtains for flood irrigation, mostly through trial and error. It was extremely wet, somewhat frustrating, but all in all pretty darn fun! It's pretty great to mess around in a ditch with a shovel and some tarps and then watch the pasture getting watered or drained just like that. Part of the west pasture has been under 4-8" of water since I moved here (> a month!), so I blockaded a box dam, unblocked a culvert, added a tarp curtain, and thirty minutes later that poor oxygen-starved (and increasingly stinky) patch of pasture was emerging from the depths! I drained another section simply with a few chunks of mud - yipee! Turns out rudimentary ditch/flood irrigation is not rocket science, so a shovel, some tarps, and a basic grasp of the theory of gravity got me pretty far out there! It's still far from perfect of course, and I need to get the tractor out there to redo some ditches. Grading would be great too, but I don't want to go down the plowing/sowing road when we've got a pretty healthy population of perennial grasses. 50 cows come tomorrow for a 1-2 week vaca in our lovely back 50. They should do wonders on that neglected land, and will give us a rough idea of the property's hay potential as well.

Other exciting news - today I cooked one of our chickens for dinner, which was a satisfying first! They're 16 days from slaughter still, but this one broke a leg (and dislocated a hip?) and needed an early retirement. We haven't yet set up any proper facilities, but there's a cone or two in the shed and the 350's tailgate made a great processing table - with a clean cutting board of course. Finding a sharp knife proved tricky (mine's been cutting electric fencing and twine for too many weeks), so I ended up using a box cutter blade for the important part. Plucking really was easier with this mutant half-naked breed, and I nailed the evisceration for once (Shannon, you'd be so proud!). Anyway, the chicken turned out pretty good, but not as tender as I was hoping. Cecil certainly didn't complain about his giblets though!

I'm really happy to report that after their first night of traumatic freedom, the cornish cross chicks are now enjoying a delightful quality of life in the pasture. The 200 remaining almost-chickens are exploring the grass, pecking around, and definitely having a lovely time. The above chick is clearly reveling in the distant beauty of Basalt Mountain (that's an awestruck expression if ever I've seen one!)

Here's some of the flock relaxing by the snack bar in their shady cabana. We're having a heck of a time keeping that snack bar fully stocked though; these guys are going through forty pounds of feed a day! Still, they're definitely much cuter when not accompanied by the stench of their chick stalls, and they have grown into their gangly feet and filled out with feathers a bit so they're nearly pretty.

To save time and labor filling their waterers twice a day (gorging on chick feed makes 'um thirsty), I created a water gap when I moved the electric fencing by repositioning the pen over a wet ditch. These chicks are nothing if not brainless (I'm certain they've long since shit out any intelligence), and were threatening to dehydrate and die as not a one followed my trail of waterers to the fourth one floating in the ditch. I attempted some training with the carrot and stick method by slowly walking a waterer to the ditch and leading a small group of thirsty chicks (foolishly thinking they had capacity for connecting the journey to the drink and later leading their comrades - hah!). When this was clearly failing, I got a tad frustrated and began grabbing any chicks trying to drink out of a waterer and tossing them into the ditch. Still, not a trace of learning, and a not a sole returning to the ditch after their initial drink. Arrrrgh! Their stupidity would be the death of them. Then - Aha! - I realized that if I simply removed all waterers (they were just standing by the empty ones waiting for Poseidon to refill them rather than hunting for a better source), and lifted one on a stump to make it easily visible in the middle of the ditch, they would head in the right direction, find they were standing in the water, and come to the correct conclusion that water now comes from the ground and not a galvanized cylinder...

TaDa!

Here's the bear's surprisingly small hole in my once beautiful chicken tractor:

The remaining chicks seem to be fully recovered and thankfully much less blood-splattered. The few with scrapes and punctures aren't letting it interrupt their ravenous morning attack on the feed trough. Perhaps their freakish rate of growth allows them to heal unnaturally fast as well! Luckily they appear to be too stupid to be emotionally scarred from their horribly violent brush with death. Many were already back to eating and drinking before we'd finished separating the dead and wounded last night - strange!

On a much lighter note, the twin kids were cuddled up in mom's feeder this morning. Ever so cute:

And here's the new goat hay feeder I built saturday to reduce feed waste (huge problem around here). It's really fun to have a woodshop, even if it's very ill-equipted, and like any self-respecting farm/ranch we have a huge assortment of building materials, aka junk. I sure miss Olaf's awesome wood and metal shops when I'm swapping our one feeble battery from the screw gun to the chop saw and back again. Or when I'm picking through the screw bucket!

In other exciting news, Peter brought three new rabbits to the ranch yesterday to start up our meat bunny enterprise! He built them really cool hutches (which now seem not very bear-proof), and they're stationed in our garden for weed disposal and cuteness. Currently the buns have a view of this new wacko community gardener who showed up this morning with her latino gardener and is ordering him around to set up her tiny plot - Bizarre!

Massacre at Rock Bottom!

I had just gotten into bed Sunday night and was flopping around trying to get my back in a comfortable position without sending Cecil flying. I heard a few chirps out my open window, but ignored it. Then a few more chirps, but I was just starting to get comfortable, so stayed in my happily horizontal position after a long week. I perked my ears and listened for chickens.

More chirps. I started thinking about bobcats and mountain lions and coyotes, but I had compeleted the chicken tractors just hours before and knew every inch was securely covered in wire. The bottom two feet was bolstered with a second layer of thicker wire because possums and coons are known to reach in and pull legs and heads off birds sleeping within paws' reach. The chicks were so quickly outgrowing their pens in the barn, and the stentch and heat from all of them packed in had become not only uncomfortable but deadly. I'd found three birds, flat as pancakes and featherless from post-mortem trampling, in the last two days and had made completing the chicken tractors my first priority. As often as we mucked, we just couldn't keep up with the pace of the eating and shitting, and the ammonium and bacteria and rising temperatures created a dangerous combination. At long last the pens were ready, and we herded the birds into dog kennels for their trip across the farmyard. They seemed so content in their new home with a fresh breeze ruffling their feathers and sping grass under their feet for the first time. We released the last kennel late in the evening, and I left them with a great feeling of satisfaction, pleased to have vastly improved the quality of life for these strange little meat makers. This picture shows the barn, yuck:

The chirps became a chorus, and something was definitely wrong out there. This wasn't just a bird complaining about getting squished by his siblings. I slid into my crocs on the way out the door and grabbed the coleman lantern. Once I got out the door, I could hear the chickens clearly and there was distinct pain and panic in their screams. I started running and fumbled hastily with the gate, one of many on the ranch that dangles from it's twine-reinforced hinges and has to be wrestled open. As I closed in on the pens my lantern lit a large hole torn through the wire side of one and a ribcage lying in bloody feathers. A brown furry something was moving in the pen, and chicks were flying through the air. My lantern was not putting out much light, and I started hollering "OUT OUT OUT YOU!" but the predator didn't turn or seem to notice me. I got close enough for my light to reach inside the pen, and the brown butt turned around and it was a bear with a chicken in it's mouth and paws sweeping through the hudding, screaming flock. It looked at me for just a moment, then turned away and continued the slaughter.

Bear! I hadn't even considered a bear, and I staggered back, feeling so unprepared in my pajamas and crocs. I ran back for the subaru, and raced to the pasture. The bear kept up his killing despite the headlights pouring in and my hollering, but began trying to escape when I laid on the horn (not in the middle of the steering wheel I finally figured out). He squoze himself through the hole he'd torn and loped off towards the river.

Corpses were stewn in every part of the pen, none eaten but many disemboweled. Every single chick had blood somewhere on it's body, and as I went for gloves Caitlin and Peter came running out to help.We triaged the birds and drowned the fifteen who seemed "unrehabilitatable" (a euphamism they employed at the animal shelters). Forty birds died tonight, and we'll probably loose a few more by morning to overlooked and internal injuries. We still have two hundred and five, and they're back in the barn on fresh straw to wait for their electric poultry netting to reinforce the pens (and I hope I fry that bastard when he comes back for seconds). Three o'clock and I'm off to bed but the adreneline is still fading from seeing that bear and the devastation he wrecked on our helpless chicks. I can't imagine why they kill so ruthlessly and needlessly, but I've read it's not uncommon with other predators like dogs and possums and weasels either. I'll have to talk to the ranchers who told us this pen design was predator proof and see if we left out the razor wire or something! I'll post pics of the surviors and the hole in the pen tomorrow. Phew!

Sampling and Monitoring!

It's so exciting to use my grad school knowledge! Due to immune nonsense (EBV, now CFS?), I've taken a break from dashing around feeding/planting/cleaning/fixing/watering/weeding things to plan some rotational grazing for Noah's Arc. I clipped some forage samples to measure pasture productivity by making a sq ft wire hoop and throwing it around the pasture to attempt randomness (it was also exciting to use geometry!).

These two pictures are taken less than ten meters apart, and the difference in plant height, species composition, and amount of litter really shows what happens in continual grazing...PATCHES! Not great for productivity because the areas with lots of litter get essentially choked out, and the areas getting constantly nibbled kill off the desirable species by preventing them from storing energy in their roots. With some portable electric fencing I can concentrate the animals on a small area for a short time so they graze it evenly and then move on before over stressing the plants. Currently this pasture has only ~1500lbs of forage production per acre, and it should have over 4000! Despite the poor/nonexistant management, the ranch still has excellent production (thanks to subirrigation from the Roaring Fork) compared to the northern front range where 300-700lbs/ac is typical.

Anyway, on a more interesting note, our 2 week old cornish cross chicks are growing like crazy (freakish), and eating and shitting like crazy (nasty), and are crazy lopsided from their bizarrely huge breasts (pretty gross). Pictures to come. Their much cuter heritage breed counterparts are less than half the size at the same age, which is completely amazing. We get to put everybody out on pasture at the end of next week which will smell a lot better, but means I have to order fencing Tomorrow! Which means lots of decisions in a very short time. How much? What kind? eeek!

We had two twins arrive yesterday just before lunch from our Alpine goat Deliah. A boy and a girl, both very healthy and cute. I'll have to take some more pictures now that they're a little more lively and fluffy, because they're unbelievably adorable! I got to towel them off, betadine their umbilical chords, and help them nurse. I guess it's important that they get a good drink in the first hour, but they're so adorably bad at finding a teat and pretty much tried sucking on everything from mom's elbows to eachothers ears. I guided a nose to the right area while holding up a very wobbly chest, and after tasting every other part of Deliah's udder and upper thighs nursing was a success!

Awesome new job, Awesome new location!!!

Cecil was so excited to get out of the car after our five hour drive! He immediately jumped on the bed and took a looong look out the window. He was standing like this for at least five trips up and down the stairs with boxes. Mules and miniture cows must be fascinating enough to break through the sedatives for some intense tail-twitching observation.

Big Willie just before I dusted him for mites...in his pits and buttcrack. also ears, inner thighs, and second chin. Laura-jean's week old piglets :)

Cecil surveying the view from the porch roof outside our window