My dogs are cuter and more wonderful than any other dogs ever, and I can prove it too...
EXHIBIT A:
EXHIBIT B:
I AM Daring Greatly
12 years ago
Friday, July 18, 2008
Yes, I know this is getting ridiculous
...but it's my day off, and I haven't gotten to talk about myself nearly enough ; )
My dogs are cuter and more wonderful than any other dogs ever, and I can prove it too...
EXHIBIT A:
EXHIBIT B:
My dogs are cuter and more wonderful than any other dogs ever, and I can prove it too...
EXHIBIT A:
EXHIBIT B:
Birdies!
I made my finches a bea-ut-tiful cage out of snap-together shelving and wire and coroplast (has nothing to do with photosynthesis). I'm feeling very proud of myself. And I have lots of holes poked through my exoderm. And I accidentally stabbed my leg with a exacto-knife. So worth it.
Here's the happy couple. They're siblings, but I'm not going to tell them that. It might complicate the romance. They're fawn zebra finches (from australia's grasslands).
Joy gazing out the window (what a beauty). Longing for freedom? Unappreciative little snot; I almost want to tell her about owls and malnutrition, but we'll let her dream.
Darrell striking a handsome pose. Isn't he a looker? And his mating call is getting pretty good too. He practices every morning between 4:30 and 8. Uff da. Dedicated much?
Here's the happy couple. They're siblings, but I'm not going to tell them that. It might complicate the romance. They're fawn zebra finches (from australia's grasslands).
Joy gazing out the window (what a beauty). Longing for freedom? Unappreciative little snot; I almost want to tell her about owls and malnutrition, but we'll let her dream.
Darrell striking a handsome pose. Isn't he a looker? And his mating call is getting pretty good too. He practices every morning between 4:30 and 8. Uff da. Dedicated much?
Monday, July 7, 2008
COOL FACTS ABOUT MY NEW EMPLOYER
We adopt out 17,000 animals every year!
Several of our vets can spay a dog in under 12 minutes (at a normal clinic the surgery might take an hour or more)
We have over six hundred regular volunteers, who contribute as much time and work as would 80 full time employees.
20% of animals in American homes are from animal shelters
Ironically, right next door is a puppy mill outlet
Also next door is a porn store with a giant billboard that says "It's cheaper than dating!"
A small mammal is referred to as a "smam"
A 314 is bad
Breed bans suck
Friends with Benefits, a helpful chart... http://i30.tinypic.com/34j3rzm.jpg
My favorite part is the Flexible Spending pie chart. Listening is an obligation of dating apparently not required in casual relationships - narcissists rejoice!
When coffee hits your stomach... http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758754
Yeah, you know what that's talking about. Usually a good thing, sometimes...
You know how there's that little action hero in the back of your head who gets worked up and says inappropriately dramatic things like, "I'd take pleasure in guttin' you, Professor." Yeah, that one. To prevent dangerous outbursts when in traffic, it's good to do some weeding (with a big shovel; none of that pansy-ass dandelion plucking). My cranial gun-slinger particularly likes, "DIE MOTHERFUCKER!" and "I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING WEEDS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLAIN!" The cheat grass will uproot itself in terror, I promise.
We adopt out 17,000 animals every year!
Several of our vets can spay a dog in under 12 minutes (at a normal clinic the surgery might take an hour or more)
We have over six hundred regular volunteers, who contribute as much time and work as would 80 full time employees.
20% of animals in American homes are from animal shelters
Ironically, right next door is a puppy mill outlet
Also next door is a porn store with a giant billboard that says "It's cheaper than dating!"
A small mammal is referred to as a "smam"
A 314 is bad
Breed bans suck
Friends with Benefits, a helpful chart... http://i30.tinypic.com/34j3rzm.jpg
My favorite part is the Flexible Spending pie chart. Listening is an obligation of dating apparently not required in casual relationships - narcissists rejoice!
When coffee hits your stomach... http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758754
Yeah, you know what that's talking about. Usually a good thing, sometimes...
You know how there's that little action hero in the back of your head who gets worked up and says inappropriately dramatic things like, "I'd take pleasure in guttin' you, Professor." Yeah, that one. To prevent dangerous outbursts when in traffic, it's good to do some weeding (with a big shovel; none of that pansy-ass dandelion plucking). My cranial gun-slinger particularly likes, "DIE MOTHERFUCKER!" and "I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING WEEDS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLAIN!" The cheat grass will uproot itself in terror, I promise.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Captain Awkward Crotch
My weird friend Dan coined this phrase referring to emo kids who wear their girl jeans super tight on the thighs and really baggy up top. Professor Santurri suffers from Captain Awkward Ass, as he chooses to do his bunching in the back. Also highly attractive.
The library stairwell smells like hamster cage today. mmmm. think i might stock up on sunflower seeds and settle in for a nap.
If this doesn't make you smile, you may have forgotten your prozac this morning: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/07/eat-your-heart.html
Speaking of prozac, why does everyone in the Midwest still think that Jesus can even out your serotonin levels? Clearly (cough) depression is a figment of your imagination, psychologists are for crazy people, and antidepressants will turn you into a mindless zombie, but forgetting the science (cough) for just one minute, which one of us is nearly intolerable b/c she's a bipolar moody bitch? Hmm, not me.
The library stairwell smells like hamster cage today. mmmm. think i might stock up on sunflower seeds and settle in for a nap.
If this doesn't make you smile, you may have forgotten your prozac this morning: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/07/eat-your-heart.html
Speaking of prozac, why does everyone in the Midwest still think that Jesus can even out your serotonin levels? Clearly (cough) depression is a figment of your imagination, psychologists are for crazy people, and antidepressants will turn you into a mindless zombie, but forgetting the science (cough) for just one minute, which one of us is nearly intolerable b/c she's a bipolar moody bitch? Hmm, not me.
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